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10 ways to have a better conversation - Celesete Headlee - TED.


Check out the TED talk here.

  1. Don’t multitask – be present - don’t be somewhere else - be fully in it
  2. Don’t pontificate - always assume you have something to learn - “Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t” -Bill Nye
  3. Ask open ended questions – who, what, when, where, why, or how
  4. Go with the flow – let your thoughts go - don’t be bound and determined to say something
  5. If you don’t know, say that you don’t know (Talk should not be cheap)
  6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs – all experiences are individual – it is NOT about you - Conversations are not promotional opportunities
  7. Try not to repeat yourself – it’s condescending and really boring
  8. Stay out of the weeds - forget the details - leave them out - people care about you nit the details
  9. LISTEN – the most important one – “If your mouth is open you’re not learning” -Buddha – “Nobody ever listened his way out of a job” -Calvin Coolidge - “most of us don’t listen with the intent to understand, we listen with the intent to reply” -Steven Covey
    • Why we don’t:
      We want to be in control
      We get distracted - we can think at 2x the speed we talk
  10. Be brief - “A good conversation is like a miniskirt – short enough to retain interest but long enough to cover the subject” -Celesete Headlee’s sister

Be interested in other people and be prepared to be amazed.