10 ways to have a better conversation - Celesete Headlee - TED.Last Edit: 04 Jan 2017 | TED
Check out the TED talk here.
- Don’t multitask – be present - don’t be somewhere else - be fully in it
- Don’t pontificate - always assume you have something to learn - “Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don’t” -Bill Nye
- Ask open ended questions – who, what, when, where, why, or how
- Go with the flow – let your thoughts go - don’t be bound and determined to say something
- If you don’t know, say that you don’t know (Talk should not be cheap)
- Don’t equate your experience with theirs – all experiences are individual – it is NOT about you - Conversations are not promotional opportunities
- Try not to repeat yourself – it’s condescending and really boring
- Stay out of the weeds - forget the details - leave them out - people care about you nit the details
- LISTEN – the most important one – “If your mouth is open you’re not learning” -Buddha – “Nobody ever listened his way out of a job” -Calvin Coolidge - “most of us don’t listen with the intent to understand, we listen with the intent to reply” -Steven Covey
- Why we don’t:
- We want to be in control
- We get distracted - we can think at 2x the speed we talk
- Be brief - “A good conversation is like a miniskirt – short enough to retain interest but long enough to cover the subject” -Celesete Headlee’s sister
Be interested in other people and be prepared to be amazed.